During my short Maternity Leave with our dear Wesley this Fall, I wondered what adjustments needed to be made to my new mundane and how I could better position myself for my Team and our Brides in the coming year...while not compromising on the extremely high-calling I believe motherhood is. Or the service, availability, guidance and friendship we offer our Brides.
I asked myself this crazy hard question:
In order to keep the standards at Janelle on Location as high as we have them, do I need to cut back significantly on the number of weddings we take so I can, with a clear conscience, invest in my kids in a way I believe is important, irreversible, and valuing these precious short years?
I'm not going to lie, there was a fear in my heart as I genuinely considered that question; seeking to evaluate honestly. I started picturing my life with less Janelle on Location, assessing if it would make me a better mom for my kids.
As I pondered, I realized that this job actually makes me a better mom. And. Being a mom...makes me a better Wedding Vendor and Team Leader. Hear me out.
My days and nights are full of mundane: keeping humans alive with food, sleep, and basic hygiene over and over again. Constantly doing what will just be undone, or need to be re-done again in moments. These days of postpartum cushion, sleep deprivation, yoga pants, over sized t-shirts and my two year old thinking that anytime mama wears makeup we must be going to church...
...these days need an outlet of "Fancy." Of beautiful. Of planning.
Basically, weddings are the opposite of my life right now. They are thought out, planned, with all hands on deck from tons of professionals, details intricately designed, days, months and sometimes years of Pins saved and Wedding Vision brainstormed. The most spectacular once-in-a-lifetime dress. Emailing and texting close friends regularly about all of the plans. Fancy, delicious food, vacation around the corner, with almost every single moment of the most amazing, detail-oriented day of a couple's life being documented by the best photographer around. Images to be hung on the wall and given as gifts to last a lifetime.
My days are repetitive. Rotating the same 5 of my husband's t-shirts that currently fit while my body re-gains it's un-pregnant shape. With my hands overflowing with laundry, dishes, spit up, crumbs, making scrambled eggs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...sometimes being too busy to eat them myself. The details of my day are entirely un-fascinating, and feel un-worthy of documentation. I'm out of touch with so many friends I deeply care about.
So getting to mull over clean, un-fingerprinted, bright images of wedding vision from our Brides, hearing their heart-warming love stories (which make me fall in love with my husband all over again!), seeing a Bride's sweet friendships on full display, and journeying with Brides and other vendors in the planning of THE DAY...is a beautiful, needed outlet for me. I look forward to my emails, and pinterest boards, and wedding days...caring for these women who've entrusted so much to us. It is a tremendous joy. And a refresher for my heart, mind, relationships, and pace. I.love.it. And I need it. And because I'm a believer in self-care as it allows us to care for OTHERS more effectively...